Internglish

From Deobald

To "loose" does not make something lost. It makes it loose. Or perhaps it makes it wild... who knows. The world is your oyster and the English language is your clam digger. However, it is most certainly not your banana to mush about and make breads which no one wants to eat. That banana is hardly even ripe! You put it back in the fridge where it belongs and grab your clam digging boots.

What you probably meant was "lose": the present form of the past tense form "lost". If you lose, you are a loser. If you loose, your pants fall down. At the very least, say it out loud. The spelling helps. Think of goose. Goose, loose. Loose, goose. You can see where we're going with this, no? Moose! Loose. See? It's not that hard. Juice! Oh, wait, no. Nevermind. Zeus? Nah. Moose! Goose! Loose! Deuce.

Good then. Let's talk about "then". If-Then-Else. It's better to understand the difference between than and then than it is to walk around writing things like this: "Macs are better then PCs." What?! No! Than PCs. "Macs are better than PCs." It's really not that hard. Then? A conclusion. Than? A comparison. Perhaps even Than-Then-Else, hey? Wouldn't that be a crazy but grammatically-accurate world. But certainly never If-Than-Else. Else what? We didn't even arrive at the original conclusion, silly writer.

Once you master those, we can move on to the next things -- they're over there but their count is three, not two. Still tricky business. Trickier, even. Except for the fact that they are totally unrelated, of course.